I Can Do This. Fuck You!

Last week I traveled to Chicago for work, and while I had a great time and ate my body-weight in pizza, this story isn’t about that. Rather, this is the story of how I almost punched a friend’s mother in the face. Continue reading “I Can Do This. Fuck You!”

Honorary Cajun

Paul and I met on Match.com. In the early days of our courtship, before I knew if he was a serial murderer who was going to cut me into tiny pieces and store me in his freezer, I chose our date locations with care. Continue reading “Honorary Cajun”

Two Gringos Walk Into…

6 years ago Paul and I went to get “authentic” Mexican food outside Philly. The place we chose was small and close-knit and, after about 40 minutes when no one had helped us, we turned to leave. As we walked out someone yelled, “They’ll probably be happier with Taco Bell anyway.” Continue reading “Two Gringos Walk Into…”

We Need to Have a Serious Discussion About Ed Sheeran

A few months back, I really wound up my brother in-law by telling him I thought Uptown Funk was the best song written in the last twenty-five years. This was the night of Kathleen’s birthday party, and we were all a bit tipsy. And it was fun to bust his balls a bit about his over-the-top dislike of that song—which, incidentally, I do like a lot, even if I wouldn’t normally say it’s the best song of the last two decades. Continue reading “We Need to Have a Serious Discussion About Ed Sheeran”

Little luxuries 

Today I worked from home while three women cleaned my apartment. When they came to the door, I slipped off a conference call to let them in. On Friday, I was teaching when Peapod showed up to deliver my groceries. 

After this week, my colleagues probably think I’m quite the pampered princess. I can see them whispering now, “Who will ring the bell next? A dog masseuse?”

I hope no one will judge me too harshly because there’s no way my tub would ever be this clean on my own merit. 

Towel folds!


Look at that delicate rosebud of a blanket on my couch!

Clearly, my transformation into a slothful luxury apartment dwelling monster has commenced. 

These Pretzels…Are Making Me Thirsty!

I am one of those people (Kathleen, too) who enjoys being outside the cultural mainstream. Not so far outside as to be one of those fart-sniffing dipshits who only consume indie films and music, but just far enough outside to feel perfectly comfortable ignoring otherwise universally-beloved shit—like Star Wars, or Breaking Bad. Continue reading “These Pretzels…Are Making Me Thirsty!”

Saturday morning donut contest

One of our favorite ways to spend a day is to go on a “beanfeast.” We will create any excuse for an outing and a meal. 
Today we decided to hop in the car and cruise around to local donut shops and do a taste test of the best options. You know, something most mid-30s adults do on a random Saturday. Continue reading “Saturday morning donut contest”