Once Upon a Mattress

Three years ago we bought a memory foam mattress. For 2 years, we slept great. This past year, we elevated the mattress to help with my acid reflux and hiatal hernia and the mattress never recovered. It sloped and dipped and created a cavern in the middle where if we lost vigilance for one minute we sunk into the crevasse. Continue reading “Once Upon a Mattress”

FONHO

Do you have a hard time sleeping at night? Suffer from anxiety? Listlessness? Self-loathing? A paralyzing certainty that the world is about to end, your fellow human is suffering, and you’re helpless to stop it? Continue reading “FONHO”

Honorary Cajun

Paul and I met on Match.com. In the early days of our courtship, before I knew if he was a serial murderer who was going to cut me into tiny pieces and store me in his freezer, I chose our date locations with care. Continue reading “Honorary Cajun”

Two Gringos Walk Into…

6 years ago Paul and I went to get “authentic” Mexican food outside Philly. The place we chose was small and close-knit and, after about 40 minutes when no one had helped us, we turned to leave. As we walked out someone yelled, “They’ll probably be happier with Taco Bell anyway.” Continue reading “Two Gringos Walk Into…”

Little luxuries 

Today I worked from home while three women cleaned my apartment. When they came to the door, I slipped off a conference call to let them in. On Friday, I was teaching when Peapod showed up to deliver my groceries. 

After this week, my colleagues probably think I’m quite the pampered princess. I can see them whispering now, “Who will ring the bell next? A dog masseuse?”

I hope no one will judge me too harshly because there’s no way my tub would ever be this clean on my own merit. 

Towel folds!


Look at that delicate rosebud of a blanket on my couch!

Clearly, my transformation into a slothful luxury apartment dwelling monster has commenced.